modem

"Hey past-man. Whats your modem speed. Here in the future nobody uses dialup anymore. Its all broadband like cable and dsl. I bet you couldnt load most pages from 2013 in less then five mins.
 lotus50301"

hey lotus-randomnumbers.  whats your problem.  does nobody in the future use apostrophes or question marks anymore either.

i got a 28.8kbps modem and i’ll have you know that i’m rockin A PENTIUM II THANK YOU VERY MUCH so i’m sure it could handle anything “2013” can throw at it cuz it’s all about that processor.  shows what you know about how this stuff works lol

and yeah, like dsl’s ever gonna be affordable, i guess every house has a money bin like scrooge mcduck in the future.  wtf ever, this is the fakest email i’ve gotten yet

beginning

From: Project Wisdom admin (email redacted)
 To: wiracocha1@juno.com
 After much discussion we recently declassified our communications with you and have released the information about the unique circumstances of your email address to the public.  We are informing you to advise that you may find an increase in your email traffic as a result.  We appreciate your correspondence and wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, whatever they end up being.
 Project Wisdom team

 

From: wiracocha1@juno.com
To: Project Wisdom admin (email redacted)
yeah i noticed, thanks a lot douche i keep getting emails from all these weird people asking me about stuff and talking about crazy shit like they’re from the future.  real funny

From: facility custodian (email redacted)
 To: wiracocha1@juno.com
Hey.  Well Louis the project lead said I should handle Project Wisdom stuff with you from now on and thats all he said.  Maybe you can tell me what we're doing here because thats all I know.  I just kinda work here

 

From: wiracocha1@juno.com
To: facility custodian (email redacted)
dude i don’t know, i just keep getting all these emails from people, half of them say they’re “from the future” or some crap

From: facility custodian (email redacted)
 To: wiracocha1@juno.com
 Yeah I don't think that's going to stop for a while.  You replying to them?  You should totally reply to them and send me the conversations.  I could put it up on a blog for you

 

From: wiracocha1@juno.com
To: facility custodian (email redacted)
blog??  wtf is a blog?  what a stupid word!  “hey where’s your bathroom, gotta drop a blog, woo sure ate too much this time” lol

From: facility custodian (email redacted)
To: wiracocha1@juno.com
You should totally do this I think it could be fun.  I'll handle everything you just send me the conversations.  What you want the blog URL and title to be?

 

From: wiracocha1@juno.com
To: facility custodian (email redacted)
whatevs don’t care,  wiracocha’s cyberpage or whatever

From: facility custodian (email redacted)
 To: wiracocha1@juno.com
 Great!  Got it, gonna go make it right now.  Reply to those emails and send me those conversations!

 

From: wiracocha1@juno.com
To: facility custodian (email redacted)
yeah ok whatever, not like i have anything better to do at night during the week